”Everyone has some event, some occurrence in their life that they want to immortalize, so to speak. I am no different.”
I discovered when I was very young two very important facts. One, I was never going to act (I hate being the center of attention) and two, I can’t sing (tone-deaf and can’t carry a tune). Well ok three. Can’t draw, either. However, I loved the written word. I became an avid reader. There was not a book I wouldn’t try to read. My favorite book in the sixth grade was House of Sixty Fathers by Meindert DeJong. I also discovered the urge to write. While my kids were young, I did some writing. I was never really brave enough to try to publish. If I compared my writing to a published author I never felt good enough. I never had enough faith in myself. As the kids grew, my time spent writing shrunk to nothing. Now, they are grown and the writing bug has nagged me.
It’s funny. It isn’t like riding a bike. Your mind gets dusty and rusty when you don’t use it. It has been fun and frustrating, liberating and aggravating these last weeks. I’m not as dried up as I was afraid. I hope you like my idea. It’s a little different, I think, OK girly even. On the simple side, it’s one woman’s journey and adventure to freedom.
This blog is completely fictional. Any name, place or event mentioned is purely coincidental.
I cannot figure out what happened to the typeset in chapter two. I apologize to my readers for that technical error. Normally, every time I come here, I learn something new. Typeset obviously wasn’t one of them.
It’s been a while since I began this journey. I am still learning. I think if I stop learning that I would be doing something wrong. Quite frankly, except for a stumbling block now and then, I have made good progress. The story is unfolding how I envisioned. I’m proud of myself to be stepping out like this. This is exciting to me. I wish I had tried something like this sooner. Already I’m turning new ideas around as possible stories. For those who are reading my story, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please feel free to leave compliments or criticisms. I’ve had several questions about John’s identity. There’s been suggestions that it is her husband. I think Emily would have a problem with that, though. But, honestly, I’m not sure who he is yet. It’s funny. I think about this story so much, that I’ve begun to talk about them like they’re real! Maybe that is why it keeps getting easier.
As I mentioned before, I go to Plinky.com for writing prompts. I can’t get them to go to the right section here but I wanted to share this with you. The prompt was ‘If you were a Super Hero, what would your powers be?’ Above the post was a picture of naked baby butts and this was my answer:
I am not Superwoman,
don’t want to be her.
Nor Wonder Woman
do I want to be.
For I am Super Mom,
with powers greater than they.
I am keeper of the food
the little buggers must eat.
I have the remote
for the TV they want to see.
I have the keys, the car,
for the many trips to the mall.
But most of all,
I have the treasure they seek to find
The naked pictures of their baby behinds!
I am so glad I finished Gracie’s Journey. It felt truly wonderful to write something again. Not that I lay claim to be a grand master at writing. Actually, I’m probably pretty juvenile in style and form. However, what is important to me is that I finally had the courage to step out. Let me tell you the limb was pretty shaky at times!
There were a few times when I almost deleted the blog site. Especially since most of my family has no interest. All of us need confirmation and support from those we love. Up the upside, My daughter. youngest son and two dear friends gave me encouragement to continue. For them, I am forever grateful. They allowed me to bounce ideas around, asked compelling questions about the story line, proof read when my eyes were to buggy to read anymore.
What is next? I’m not sure. I may do a book two for Emily/Gracie, although that is for down the road. I need to ‘mull over’ the other characters. There are a few ideas floating around.
Thanks to everyone who reads my story. Bless you for leaving words of encouragement.
Well, I decided to write the sequel now and not wait. John was just in my head so much, I wanted to bring him back. He has much to make up, doesn’t he? I have an idea how the story will go.
I have a couple very good friends, a son and my daughter who support and encourage me, Without them, I’m not sure I would have come this far. So to them I dedicate The Journey Back because it is as much my journey as it is John’s.
Please note, as I said before, the story is totally fictional. It’s just amazing how sometimes the story is just there in your mind waiting for you. Sometimes I’ll be near sleep and all the sudden I just know how to write it.
Thanks for coming here to my site, for spending some time. I hope you enjoyed the visit.
Today I completed a prompt on Plinky. We had to list ten things about ourselves that we liked. It was difficult for me because I felt like I was bragging. Plus I had to look at me not as others may see me, but as I perceive myself . It took some time to compose my list. I wanted to list what I felt to be my best traits. Listing honest, faithful, punctual, etc was too easy, too trite.
After reading what I believed were my best traits, I thought how freaking pretentious can I get! I don’t care, though. This is fast becoming my new motto: I am what I am. The more I say that, the better I feel about myself. It’s OK to like yourself, to see good in yourself. All of us need a pat on the back. It’s when conceit and ego take over our lives that we need to become concerned. I can honestly say that no one can accuse me of either of them.
Over my lifetime I have made so many mistakes. I wish I had developed some of these traits in my youth, but it is those experiences that helped create the person I am. I think I should have added an eleventh one – the wish, no struggle, to do away with regret, guilt, and worry.
While all of us ‘regret’ something we may, or may not, have done we cannot live our lives by that regret. We admit it, we make amends, we forgive and move on. Worry is not only a biblical sin, it is a wasteful use of our personal energy and resources. It eats into our daily lives tainting our happiness, preventing us from seeing all the finer things life has to offer us. Guilt is the third evil sister to regret and worry. When we begin to think we’re conquering one of the first two, guilt rears her ugly head and begins to feed. If we have truly forgiven ourselves as we claim, why are we allowing guilt such control?
I have hit a stump with my story. It’s like the characters refuse to follow the script. I have an outline and I know what is going to happen in the next chapters. But I don’t seem to be able to get past the first paragraphs. Book two is at a standstill. I rewrote a little short story. The sex was far too explicit. I did Plinkys. I reviewed the work. It’s infuriating that I am stuck.
I have been reading some other blogs. So far I think Vince Tuckwood is my favorite. I think it helps to read other styles, story lines etc. It keeps my perspective. I don’t ever want to feel I write better than I do and reality checks become important. Sometimes I can draw inspiration from them. Especially when they discuss their own blocks.
Today is nearly the end of yet another stressful week. Life has not been the same since my daughter and her three kids moved in four weeks ago. When you haven’t been around children non-stop 24/7, you forget how rough and tiring it is. I raised eight kids. Now I want to know how I did it and kept my sanity. Just one is enough to overwhelm me. Although in my defense I will say Spencer is enough to do in the Pope! Seriously!
He will happily cut his nose off to spite his face. Spencer gives stubbornness, tenacity, bullheadedness, persistence, and wilfulness whole new meanings. He isn’t a malicious child just one determined to walk his own path. Smart as a whip, he keeps my brain in overdrive just to keep up. Then, of course, there is the physical activity. He’ll be three in a few weeks and his energy is non-stop.
Spencer is my daughter’s baby. Her older two kids, six and ten, are much different in temperament and in behavior. I think she wanted to keep Spencer a baby as long as possible. Boy did something backfire!
Yes, life is surely different. I must add the cell phone here. This item of convenience has a place in our society that is of a benefit to us. However, the largest majority of people no longer live a ‘home’ life. They live ‘cell phone lives’. Look around when you are in the public. The phones are glued to their ears. That cell phone has become a massive addiction. You can be sitting next to your friend or family member yet they aren’t talking to you. They are texting or calling or networking. Surely some people have to realize that children need undivided attention. If you’re at dinner, your companions need your attention. If you’re driving, other drivers beg for your attention. So society now has another monster destroying the family unity. Our children have yet another boogeyman to contend with and battle for their parent’s love and attention.
Then there is my husband. He is a difficult person the best of times. I rarely hear positive points from him. Very quickly he will list everything negative he can about someone. He never gives praise without damning that person. We’ve gotten used to it and try to overlook it. He does have some good points that are important in the scheme of things. It’s easier, of course, for the kids to overlook this. They don’t live with him!
He is also the biggest procrastinator I have met. For example, we have this lazy susan cabinet. It’s great because it answers the flaw of corner cupboards. Anyway, a grand-kid climbed up to the counter using the shelf and it broke. Five years ago. Now he gets upset when stuff sits around. He thinks I am insulting him when I want it done. We need the storage now more than ever. I guess I will just never understand the logic of a man’s brain!
Sometimes I think he feels he is the only one under stress, the only one dealing with things. Don’t get me wrong, he is working on this money pit house. Finally after leaving it for years. So I don’t complain if he doesn’t help in the house. If he works outside, I’ll happily handle everything inside. If he doesn’t, then I expect him to do half the inside work. It sounds logical and fair to me.
My daughter has been living a haywire life lately. It controls her, she does not control her life. Such bad habits she has developed! Don’t forget the phone. Newest, latest gadget. She spends more time with her friends than on home priorities. She’s nearly thirty, for crying out loud. Pick up behind yourself! Everything becomes I’ll get that later. Only later never comes. Things keep stacking and building and I catch the brunt of it.
So now that I have vented here, do I feel better? No because nothing has been solved. Spencer is still a hellion. My husband is still a piss-ant, and my daughter is too busy. The upside is that I’ve said some of what is on my mind in a place no one will see! If you guessed my family does not have an interest in my blog site, you guessed right. I think that is a big issue with me. As a mom I am expected to pat them on the back but the selfish little buggers….Guess it’s clear that hurt my feelings. Oh well. If you’ve read this? Thanks for listening.